


True hate is rare

by siangjiang



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal, Choking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fighting, M/M, Masochism, PWP, Rough Sex, Slapping, Spanking, Voyeurism, light topping from the bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 00:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11024973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siangjiang/pseuds/siangjiang
Summary: Harley asks Joker if she can watch.





	True hate is rare

"Hey, Mista J?" Harley said as she rolled past Joker sitting in his favorite armchair "Next time you and Batboy, you know, get together, can I watch?"

Joker looked gleefully at her "You want to watch us fight? That can be arranged"

"No, well yeah, that's hot too" she giggled, circling around her boss "but I mean afterwards"

"Oooooh, I see..." Joker said "No! Absolutely not! That is our very special private time!"

"But you let people watch you fight"

"People hold hands and kiss in public, do they not? Why should _we_ have to hide our relationship?"

"I don't really think holding hands is the right comparison to make" Harley said "I think fighting is more like foreplay to you"

"Ah! What a thing to say! Fighting is a completely innocent and pure expression of our deep seeded hatred for each other! Do not tarnish it with your dirty mind"

"How about this, Mista J. If you let me watch, I'll let you watch Ivy and me"

"Pha!" Joker waved a hand dismissively at her "What you and plant girl do in private is non of my business"

Harley thought for a moment "I'll draw a lady with a _really_ big ass for you"

"Done!" Joker grabbed her hand and shook it.

**********

Harley had to press a hand against her mouth to keep from making noises. Joker had arranged it so she could hide in his big wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling closet where he kept all his clothes. She never knew the giant mirror covering it was a one-way mirror, but in here she could sit in the darkness with a perfect view of the action.

And what a perfect view indeed. Her Puddin' was on all fours, being rammed _hard_ by the dark knight himself, gasping and groaning like he was auditioning for a porno.

"Yes daddy, YES! Harder!" Joker sobbed. 

Batman grabbed the back of his neck and pushed his face against the mattress "Yeah, you like that, huh?" he growled, clearly getting off on the ego trip.

"God yes, so very much! Please! I'm your spoils of war! Take me!"

Harley bit her lower lip. She loved it when Puddin' talked dirty, and the way his whole body jolted forward every time Batman rammed into him was downright _filthy_.

A hard slap cracked across Joker's ass and the clown prince looked like he could have come then and there. "Batsy!" he gasped "You're so cruel! I love it!"

"Yeah you do" Another slap "Bad guys like you are so messed up. Bet you only do crime because you want to be punished"

"You know me, AH, so well! Please Batsy! I'm almost there! Choke me, daddy! I've been bad!"

Suddenly Batman pulled out, flipped Joker over on his back like he was a toy, and slammed right back into him. Joker didn't even get to say a word before Batman grabbed him around the neck with both hands. Joker flailed a bit before getting hold of Batman's wrists, not to push him off but to steady himself. His eyes started turning red when Batman slapped him across the face a couple of times and Joker finally came all over himself, his body twitching and shaking. Batman clearly felt it around his cock because he immediately came too, fucking into Joker's spasming body.

With a loud groan Batman fell on the bed besides Joker, his mask a bit askew. Joker snuggled up to him, sighing happily.

"You're so good at this, Batsy. I've never felt so hated in my life"

"I know" Batman smiled, hugging Joker closer. He padded Joker's ass gently "How good was I?"

"Oh, you want to feel?" Joker grinned. Batman nodded sheepishly.

Joker rearranged himself a bit, straddling Batman's upper stomach. The dark knight slid a pair of fingers into him and scissored them, stretching his ass to its limit. Joker gasped pornograpicly.

"Wow, that's insane!" Batman exclaimed, his eyes big "I did this?"

"You sure did, Battyboy"

"I'm awesome!"

"You sure are, and that's why I hate you so much"

Batman put two more fingers from his other hand in the Joker and spread him completely open. "And I hate you thiiis much" he grinned as he stretched Joker's abused ring.

"Oh my god..." 

Harley only realized she said that out loud when Batman suddenly looked directly at the closet where she sat.

"What was that!?"

"Um, I didn't hear anything" Joker said nervously "I was too preoccupied with you telling me how much you hate me" He wiggled his ass a bit where Batman's fingers were still buried.

In the time it took Joker to blink Batman was out of the bed, a blanket wrapped around his waist, and over by the closet. He punched right through the mirror and pulled Harley out, expertly avoiding the broken glass.

"Harley!?" Joker yelled with mock surprise "Have you been in there the whole time?! The indecency!"

Batman looked at Joker with narrow eyes "Did you know about this?"

"What!? No, of course not!" Joker pointed a stern finger at Harley "I'm very disappointed in you young lady! Have you no concept of privacy?!"

Harley played along. "I didn't come in here to snoop, I swear Mista J! I just wanted to find something cute to wear!"

"Well, I do have a lot of cute stuff" Joker giggled, then put on his serious face "But you have no business in my closet! Be gone!"

"Sure thing, Mista J! Right away, Mista J!" She hurried past the bed, towards the door. Right as she was about to close it she turned around and winked at Batman "Call me if you get lonely, Batboy"

"OUT!!!" Joker yelled, and she heard something smash against the door as she shut it. She ran down the hallway, giggling to herself. He would yell some more at her later, but it had been worth it just for the blush on Batman's face.

She would have to draw the lady's ass _extra_ super big.


End file.
